Although James Joyce was born a Dubliner, he lived in Europe most of his life, where he wrote Ulysses, Dubliners and Finnegans Wake. What isn't known is the real reason Joyce left Dublin. He and Nora Barnacle fled after they publicly cursed the dullness of play in Gaelic football. Joyce put this down to the ball's spherical shape. Nothing of interest could come from such a boring shape, he declared. A prolate spheroid would give the ball behavioural traits - randomness, sheer dumb luck, surprise - similar to real life. Indeed, it was on this subject that he first said: "In the particular was the universal."
Warwick McFadyen
Accidents and Essence: Aristotle explained this concept through the use of a chair.
Accidents and Substance: Thomas Aquinas explained Aristotle through this concept and the use of the Eucharist.
I'm going to try to explain Aristotle and Aquinas through the use of a pizza.
The Master Cleanse fast is a commitment to a specific set of rules, rules that can not be broken for ten days. When I'm in the middle of this ten day fast, anything outside of the rules, specifically food and drink, gradually transforms, and a once simple slice of pizza is no longer a simple slice of pizza. It transforms itself into the forbidden fruit of Temptation. But luckily (did I say luckily?) I do not live in the Garden of Eden, and I have a different set of rules than Adam and Eve did. At the end of only ten days, I am ALLOWED to bite into the forbidden fruit of my desires. It is waiting for me at the finish line. A reward.
As my reward draws nearer, and the final minute of the journey expires, somehow that divine slice that called to me and pulled me towards the finish line starts to dissolve, and what I find in its place is just a hunk of melted cheese on tomato bread. In fact, most everything that tempted me is nowhere to be found. My golden ticket for the All You Can Eat Gold Buffet is counterfeit. Everything I was promised, those voluptuous forbidden fruits of desire, do not exist on the other side.
This transfiguration inspired panic in me after my First fast on the Master Cleanse. I refused to accept what was happening: I was good kid all year and all I got on Christmas morning was a hunk of coal in my stocking. In hindsight and in vain, I attempted to resurrect the divine pizza I had seen and smelled and longed for, along with those tater tots and that cheeseburger and everything else that I was promised along the path, and after a few months of resurrecting gummy bears, Coca Cola, cheese fries, chili cheese fries, cheeseburgers, steak, mashed potatoes, ice cream, milk shakes, spaghetti, meatballs, Big Mac's, Twizzlers, gyros, BG fries, pizza puffs, submarine sandwiches, roast beef, pastrami, Italian beef, onion rings, Caeser salad, Cobb salad, wockawockawockawockawockawocka, blackened tuna sandwiches, sushi, deviled eggs, Kool Aid, Flavor Ice, Snickers, Milky Way, Kit Kat, Doritos, Cheetos, Flaming Hot Cheetos, gnocchi, linguine with clams, fettucine alfredo, ravioli, lasagna, pad thai, spring rolls, egg rolls, pad woon sen, crab rangoon, chop suey, saganaki, chicken vesuvio, burritos, tacos, Chalupas, nachos, allworkandnoplaymakejackadullboy, quesadillas, 7Up, Mountain Dew, Dr. Pepper, root beer, chicken salad, tuna salad, brownies, cookies, cake, apple pie, pumpkin pie, stuffing, green bean casserole, sweet potato fries, potato chips, wasabi almonds, Jolly Ranchers, bubble gum,wockawockawockawockawocka, Sour Patch Kids, omelets, french toast, corned beef, corned beef hash, hash browns, links, patties, and bacon, I gained back all the weight I had lost, and ended up with shittier eating habits and ten more pounds than I when I started. As the kids say: EPIC FALL.
The same thing happened after my Second Master cleanse, but I was able to reflect upon the failures of my first, and I was able to truly improve my eating habits, and establish a healthier lifestyle than before. But these changes slowly reversed over time.
After the Third Master Cleanse, I mourned, I grieved and I drowned that recurring realization with alcohol.
It was only a few hours after my Fourth that I finally understood. I recognized who was counting the hours, who had created the finish line, and who actually crossed it.
The Accidents remain, but the Substance has changed. Philip K. Dick does a much better job of explaining this in his novel The Divine Invasion.
No comments:
Post a Comment