Bored Games

Board games.  People play board games.  Some by choice, and some only as a last resort.  Some will play anything as long as alcohol is involved.

Great party game isn't it?

You can tell a lot about a person just by asking them what their favorite board game is.

For example, if they say Monopoly, they are boring.
Connect Four?  Mentally ill.
Scattergories?  Alcoholic.
Risk?  Nerd.
Trivial Pursuit?  Blowhard.

Scrabble?  This is a tough one, because no one actually follows the official rules when they play Scrabble.  It is very, very "Catholic" in this way (I think up to 99% of the people that play Scrabble cheat the game in some overt or subtle way).  If everyone actually played Scrabble according to the official rules, no one would actually play Scrabble.  So when someone says Scrabble ask the follow up question, "Do you follow the official rules?" and see how they respond.

Boggle?  Delusional, meaning, this person thinks they are smarter than they really are.  Whenever I play Boggle someone always feels the need to warn everyone just how good they are.  Usually someone else quietly warns the others just how good their quiet friend is:

"Watch out everyone, Jane is really, really good."  

In my experience, no one needs a warning, and Jane is never "really, really good."  Jane is just better than her stupid friend.

It should be no surprise then that Boggle is in fact my favorite board game.  I love Boggle because I like to think I am smart, and I always, ALWAYS destroy Jane.  But am I truly as good at the game as I think I am?

What I know is that I can't remember the last time I ever lost a Boggle session, and for years this was the only criteria I had to base my skill level on.  Honestly, I am not basing this on killing time with the niece and the nephew.  I'm basing this on competition with people I consider to be quite intelligent, and many who claimed to be very good at the game.  And they have never had a higher score than me.  Not even close.

Here's the thing: my opinion is based on traditional Boggle.  Wooden cubes, plastic dome, pencil and paper, and that dinky little timer filled with sand (love that).  In traditional Boggle, the best player in the room may write down 33 words, and the group may collectively write down 50 distinct words, but no one knows exactly how many words were actually on the board, words that EVERYONE failed to see.  

Last year I downloaded the Boggle App for the iPhone.  It is just like traditional Boggle (4x4 square, three minute timer), except it provides something the traditional game does not.

And this something destroyed me.

For the first time in my life I got to see every possible word that was possible.  I was not prepared for this.  It was at that moment that I realized that I was terrible at Boggle.  Terrible.

Very Revealing

Take three minutes right now to study the above Boggle board and see how many words you can find.

Time's up.

Go ahead and take another three minutes.

How'd you do?  10 words?  Terrible.  20 words?  Terrible.  30 words?  Terrible.

If you had to guess, how many possible words do you think are in there?

Would you believe me if I said that there are 75 words in there?  Don't, because I would be lying.

Would you believe me if I said 100 words?  Still lying.

There are 149 words in that 4x4 square.  

ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY NINE.

abele, abet, abets, able, ables, ablest, ably, abs, ace, bas, base, basely, bast, baste, beast, bee, beet, beetle, beetles, bel, belt, bes, best, bet, betel, bets, bey, blest, blet, blets, blue, blues, bluest, bluet, bluets, bluey, blype, cab, cable, cables, cablet, cablets, cabs, case, cast, cast, cease, cee, ease, easel, east, elm, elute, elutes, eme, emes, emeu, emeus, etwee, eye, eyes, lea, leas, least, les, lest, let, lets, leu, ley, lies, lust, lute, lute, lutes, lye, lyes, meet, meetly, mel, melt, mesa, met, mete, mew, pele, peles, pelmet, pelmets, pelt, pet, plea, pleas, pleb, plebe, plebs, plus, ply, pye, pyes, sab, sabe, sable, sac, sae, sea, sel, seme, set, stele, stem, stey, sue, suet, tea, teas, tee, teem, tel, tele, teles, tew, tule, tules, twee, usable, usably, use, useable, useably, ute, utes, uts, web, webcast, webs, wee, wet, wetly, yea, yeas, yeast, yelp, yep, yes, yet, ylem, yule, yules.

It's Tricky

(Right now you are probably thinking, "What the fuck is a 'pelmet'?")

Can you imagine if you sat down to play Boggle with someone who consistently wrote down 50 more words than the rest of the players combined?  After getting out the dictionary to look up the words no one had ever heard of, I think it would be clear to most that they would have to reconsider what it meant to be "good at Boggle."  I think it would also be very disorienting, to realize that Boggle could be played at such a high level, that someone could see so much more.  

"That Boggle guy?  Too much time on his hands…"

Maybe, I don't know.  What I do know is that you certainly would never want to play Boggle for 10 cents a point with that guy, which might be the only reason that guy would ever want to play Boggle with you. 

"Play for fun? Nah."

  Could it possibly be any fun for that guy when no element of competition exists whatsoever?

It reminds me of a short conversation I had about film with someone recently.

 "I LOVE Stanley Kubrick.  He's my favorite director."

"Oh yeah?  What's your favorite film?  2001?"

"Oh, I haven't seen 2001 yet….."

Hmm….she probably didn't have enough time on her hands.