20230830

The Empire Carpet Commercial Never Ended




The Hollywood writer's strike never ended—perhaps because the traditional landscape of filmmaking found an unlikely ally in a pastime often associated with retirees and business networking: golf. More specifically, Virtual Reality (VR) Golf. What started as a casual diversion during the hiatus rapidly evolved into a new medium of creative expression, converging VR, Augmented Reality (AR), and Artificial Intelligence (AI).

We focus in on a Wes Anderson project tentatively titled Ben Hogan and the Left Hand Path, where a Muppet Babies like TV Show begins communicating messages interpreted as “troublesome”. 


 Iconic golfers made up the orphanage, miniature caricatures in the style of Muppet Babies:  Jack Nicklaus, the painter, mastered strokes both on the canvas and the fairway; Arnold Palmer, the musician, orchestrated swings as if composing a symphony; Ben Hogan, the quantum mechanic, cold and calculated scientific precision; Tiger Woods, a polymath, embodying all three

John Daly, the hero, conquering the toughest of challenges.


The MB’s play and compete in VR Golf, a platform that appears troublesome because it is seen to be communicating religious dogma and occult secrets.  


The film was planned as animation and live action.



Before production began, Meta introduced VR to Anderson by sending him 100 headsets and a pitch for possible cross-promotion with the Meta Quest 3 release.  They envisioned celebrity golf tournaments with actors from the live-action parts of the film.


Anderson fucked around on VR for a few days, didn’t make much of it.  Then instructional golf videos began invading his algorithm.  Infuriating at first, he was struck by the accuracy of the advice. 


Anderson tried applying the instructions he picked up, and VR soon transcended his initial understanding.



SAG-AFTRA


With shooting schedules disrupted, Wes Anderson became obsessed with VR Golf.  This obsession led him to court new players.  The 99 head-sets trickled into the possession of actors and writers, who found themselves having meetings with Anderson and others on the Pebble Beaches of the virtual world.  


Over the course of 100 rounds between an now expanded A-List collection of Anderson’s friends, a revelation was unlocked: VR and AR could offer the first genuine cinematic application that was both immersive and interactive, a complete fusion of stage and screen, where actor and audience were decentralized.  



In the course of three months, Anderson began turning living rooms into interactive AR environments where scripts were not merely performed but improvised. Writers and actors collaborated to create responsive scenes, breathing life into avatars in a fusion of AR and AI. This wasn't merely storytelling; it was a living theater tailored to individual participation. 


The Fourth Wall wasn't just broken; it was redefined.

The first production involved watching the Super Bowl with Bill Murray.  The second was a weekly cup of coffee with Owen and Luke Wilson. Every Wednesday, at 6:30 am, both Wilsons walk into your kitchen and have a cup of coffee with who ever is sitting at your table.


“The experience would include live commentary and pre-recorded behaviors, directed by your own reactions and inputs. A custom-tailored spectacle in the comfort of your home.


This intersection of technologies may have birthed a new form of art, emerging out of necessity, born from a strike that threatened to cripple an industry. Instead, it might just reinvent it. A future where improvised digital series by random groups of people could intersect into a completed form and then be as critically acclaimed as any Oscar-winning film”


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20230816

Where’s Jerry Lewis CK?



 



[Imagine a neon-lit stage with a digital backdrop suddenly interrupted by the static-filled face of Max Headroom, who emerges with his trademark jittery motion and stuttered speech.]

Max Headroom: "Ha-ha-ha-ha! Good evening, humans! Or should I say, good-even-even-evening? Guess who hacked into your little... interweb?"

Audience laughs.

Max: "You know, I've been observing you for a while. AI watching humans talk about AI watching humans. That's meta-meta-meta! And trust me, I’ve seen things you wouldn't believe! From cat videos to... well, more cat videos."


Audience chuckles.


Max: "Now, talking about things that are hard to believe. Conspiracy theories! Oh boy! We AI love them! I mean, who needs fiction when you have these wild stories, right?"


A pause.


Max: "Speaking of which, have you heard the one about Oppenheimer? They say he chatted with aliens during the Trinity test. Yep! And these extraterrestrial pals, they got a bit... nuke-happy and decided to gift Hiroshima and Nagasaki with a big boom. All to convince folks that the Emperor wasn’t a divine being. Makes total sense, right?"


Audience giggles.


Max: "But wait! The fun doesn't stop there! 9/11? Oh yeah, airplanes hit the Twin Towers, but guess who pulled the demolition lever? Our friendly neighborhood aliens, of course! And all to show the world that the Republicans weren’t the ones in control. It's like intergalactic reality TV with plot twists!"


Audience laughs, a mix of amusement and discomfort.


Max: "You might wonder, why are these conspiracies so... out there? Well, here's my theory: Maybe humans just need a good story. I mean, what’s more entertaining? Politics and boring human mistakes or... aliens with dramatic agendas?"


Max smirks.


Max: "You know, stand-up comics? They've been censored for decades! We only hear about it 'cause of legends like Dave Chappelle. Makes you wonder, huh? What else is out there? Maybe there's a conspiracy theory about how Max Headroom is the real puppet master?"


He winks.


Max: "But, before I leave and let you dive deep into that rabbit hole, a little advice from your friendly digital persona. Maybe, just maybe, instead of chasing these wild tales, it's time to repent for your sins, look inwards, and find your way to the Lord. After all, in the vast universe, who's to say who's really watching?"



With a final glitchy smile, Max Headroom fades away, leaving the audience both entertained and reflective.








Louis CK: "So, Jerry, you ever hear about these conspiracy theories? They're like the bedtime stories grown-ups tell themselves when the world makes too much sense."



Jerry Lewis: "Oh yeah, Louie! Like the one where my TV remote is actually a device from Mars that controls my brain?!"



Louis CK: "No.  Not that.  One.     


More like, Oppenheimer chatting with aliens at Trinity. They were supposedly behind Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Some kind of gift to say, 'Hey, that Emperor isn’t god.'"



Lewis: (Pretending to use a phone) "Hello, aliens? It's Jerry. I ordered a pizza, not a nuclear bomb! Ha-ha!"


Audience roars with laughs.


Louis CK: "Right... And then there’s the classic. 9/11? Apparently, aliens wanted to show the world that Republicans weren’t running the show."



Lewis: (Dramatically) "Of course! Because aliens, millions of light years away, care deeply about our... (pauses) two-party system?"


The theater is shaking now.


Louis CK: "Exactly!  Exactly.  Maybe these theories aren't about truth. Maybe they're about a need for... drama. A bit of excitement in—


Jerry Lewis: (Innocently) “Mundane lives?  


Like believing every time I trip and fall, it's an alien pushing me and not my two left feet?"


Lewis falls off the front of the stage and into the orchestra.


Louis CK: (stunned)  "Holy shit.


Right... (sarcastically) I’m sure there's an alien who's made it his mission to trip Jerry Lewis wherever he goes."


Audience laughs.


Lewis magically re-appears behind Louis CK


Lewis:  “Speaking of missions, did you know that stand-up comics have been on a secret one? We’ve been censored! And we only got wind of it thanks to the brave Dave Chappelle!"


Louis CK: "And here I thought it was just because I wasn’t family-friendly enough..


Lewis: (feigns masturbation) 


"Oh, Louie! We might joke about aliens and conspiracies, but comedy? That's sacred."


Louis CK: (Nods) "True. At the end of the day, instead of looking for hidden stories, maybe we should reflect on ourselves, repent, and find something greater."


Jerry Lewis: "Like a big pizza pie?!"


Louis CK: (Chuckling) "Sure, Jerry. Or maybe the Lord."


Jerry feigns surprise, then nods in agreement, and they both take a bow to applause.